Aurora Willow

Because everyone has Facebook & Twitter..

I am going to have to vent on here. Which is why I got a Tumblr in the first place.
But anywho -

I am so happy but so sad at the same time right now. And very confused.

Just moved into the apartment - yay! However I need a bed and feel like that is going to be a struggle.
Found out last night that one of my roommates has terminal cancer in which no one has lived past 35 with.. He is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known and I don’t understand why such terrible things are happening to him right now. I think I’m still in shock and it hasn’t really set in yet.

There are a handful of guys that are interested in me right now and I’m having difficulty picking one. Go figure. They each have qualities that totally sweep me off my feet, but I’m not sure who is looking for something long term and who is just wanting something casual. I don’t even know if I want long term or casual! Ugh.

My best friend, my love, I am so sorry to have hurt him like I have. If not for a few key factors I would be with him and we would be so in love.. But I don’t know that I can love him the same way he loves me. I just don’t know. I have NEVER known a guy that knows me so well.. Like knows me for the good and bad and everything in between. I don’t know what to do. He is so hurt, and keeps reminding me that I did it, but we were never officially together. And he claims I don’t like him as more than a friend and that’s not true.. But I don’t want to risk hurting him worse like I have a tendancy to do. Blahhhhhhhhhh.

Despite the few negatives, this is the best and happiest year of my life. I am where I belong. I knew the sorority, school, etc.. wasn’t for me. I’m my own person and will do what I believe is right for me every time. Thank you, whatever divine spirit is out there, for this year and these beautiful people you’ve brought into my life.